need you now

People keep telling me that I choose to be lonely. That I don't need someone to sleep next to in order to be happy.  Maybe they are right, but i´m not so sure. Without someone to lay with, talk to, wake up to, I feel incomplete, all I can do is think, thinking rarely does anything good. I want to be telling jokes, laughing, making you laugh. Another person is a mirror in which I can see myself. Without that comfort, I feel weak, nervous and unsure about anything. This is the most honest I've been in a while and it's hard. It's hard knowing how this will eat away at me everyday, consume my thoughts, weigh me down, until it is fixed, until someone fills that void.
I just don't want to be alone anymore.
Who does?
There is a reason people choose to spend their lives with a partner. As you get older you just get sick of longing, of being broken, you really fucking want some stability, to be able to rely on someone else and not worry about them leaving someday soon. You have so much work to do, but you know you won't be able to do it alone.
You learn to really love and appreciate someone, because it becomes so important, so necessary.
I don't know what else to say.
I´m still not sure about anything.
I just don't want to spend my nights alone anymore.
That is all. I`m sure of right now.